A Desperate Need
by Paige394
Summary: After seeing Severus in a new light, Hermione's life can never be the same again. Will she find the courage to admit her feelings. A scenario that came to me and would not leave my head, inspired by lyrics from Let Me Go by Gary Barlow.
1. Chapter 1

DESPERATE NEED

The rain continued to pour down as Hermione sat in the window seat, her hands cupped around a steaming mug of chocolate. She watched the workers and shoppers, their raincoats pulled tight rushing around in the street below. Huddled under umbrellas as they went about their business.

Catching her reflection in the glass it seemed strange to see her normal face staring back. She had gotten used to seeing the disguise that she had worn constantly for the last few months. Glancing around the flat that she had called home, she realised how small she had made her life.

She would not miss anything from her time here, she had made sure that she had not gotten close to anyone, often going days without speaking to anyone other than her landlady. Spending most of her days reading, occasionally she would venture out for new books and supplies.

The streets of York reminded her of Diagon Alley, with its small shops and narrow, cobbled roads. Its alleys and snickleways easily confused the tourists who accidentally found that they had wandered off the main roads. It was nice for her to disappear among crowds, no one knowing who she was or what she had been through. Thanks to her disguise she could even venture into the magical district of the city safely. It was not easy to find but if you knew where to look you would find a mini version of the alley with its own apothecary and magic establishments. It was handy for her, so she could pick up any ingredients she needed quite easily.

As she finished her drink she wondered to herself how her life had taken this unexpected turn. How she had ended up not knowing what her life would be from now on?

It had all been planned out for her, she would sit her exams then carry on studying until she qualified as a teacher. Harry and Ron had decided not to continue with their education, both of them snapping up the opportunity to enter the auror training that the Ministry had offered them.

With Ginny and Harry engaged it had been taken for granted that she and Ron would do the same. Hermione had insisted that they both finished their training and got settled in their respective careers before she would even think of settling down.

Everything had been trundling along fine until she had been placed at Hogwarts for her final training. Because of who she was she had been given the choice of where she could train. She could have chosen to go away where there was less chance of her being recognised but for some reason she had chosen Hogwarts.

Not knowing which subject she eventually wanted to teach Minerva had come up with a solution. Hermione would serve a six week trial under each Professor of the subjects she was interested in, deciding on her final subject when she finished the last placement. Minerva had suggested that she begin under the tutelage of Professor Snape, joking that the other professors would be easy after him.

She had been very apprehensive to be in the professors' company again, hoping that he might have mellowed after his near death experience. To begin with he had been offhand and downright cold towards her but as she proved herself to him time after time she found that he began to be more amenable. She had no idea when it happened but slowly and surely they had developed a good working relationship. So much so that at the end of her six weeks she had gone to Minerva and cancelled the other trials. Working with Severus and the challenges that potions put before her had made her realise that was the subject she wanted to teach.

The following two years of training had moved along quickly and to her surprise she had become firm friends with Severus. They worked well together whether they were brewing potions or working out the curriculum for the students. They had found a mutual respect for each other, enjoying the time that they spent together.

During term time they would often spend evenings in the staff room, talking and debating new theories that were being developed in the potion world. In the holidays they would decamp back to Grimmauld Place but they still found time to catch up with each other at the end of the day, much to Ronald's dismay. It had taken time but she finally could work out his moods and how to react to them. She knew when he was being grumpy because of the pain from his scar and when he was just being downright rude just for the sake of it

She sighed as she rose from the window, she had put it off long enough. It was time for her to go back and try to explain to Ron where she had been and what the future held for them. She was not looking forward to it and hoped that he would let her explain everything. She had been a coward to run away but it had helped her work out her feelings and that she could not live her life away from the people she loved.

As she packed her things and cancelled the extension charms she had placed on the cupboards and drawers, she thought back to that morning in the store cupboard. The moment that everything had turned upside down, when she knew her life could never be what she planned.

Hermione recalled how unable to sleep she had decided to go to the laboratory earlier than usual and try to get a start on the next phase of the potion she was working on. She entered the room and made her way past Severus station to her own. She glanced through her papers, taking a mental note of the ingredients she would need next.

As she opened the heavy oak door to the stock cupboard the aromas from the various bottles and packets greeted her like an old friend. This room had to be one of her favourite places in Hogwarts, with its shelves lined meticulously with any ingredient that you may need. She had been enchanted when Severus had first shown her it and explained the spell that he had placed there. As soon as any ingredient became low in stock or near to the end of its shelf life and order would automatically be sent and new stock would be delivered the very next day.

She perused the bottles and packets when the familiar sound of the creak from the door that led to Severus private quarters. He had probably had the same idea as her to get an early start she thought. She turned to the stockroom door ready to greet him but the words stuck in her throat at the sight she saw before her.

She watched silently through the gap, her fingers grasped the edge of the door tightly as Severus made his way across the laboratory to his desk.

He was barefoot, wearing only black joggers, low slung across his hips, his hair damp and brushed back from his face. She noticed the dark hairs scattered across the pale skin of his chest, her eyes following the line down as it disappeared beneath the waistband of his trousers. She stood transfixed as he picked up a spoon and carefully stirred the cauldron on the desk, turned back and made his way back to his quarters.

As he closed the door between them Hermione released the breath that she had no idea she had been holding. The sound of her heart pounding in her ears as she struggled to come to terms with the emotions that had engulfed her body as she watched Severus.

How could she not have seen what was so clear to her now? It was as if someone had just slotted the last piece of a jigsaw into place and she could see what she had not seen before. Everything she had felt had suddenly shifted making sense of things in her life. Why she had chosen to train at Hogwarts? Why she had been dragging her feet with Ron? Why they had never even got close to sleeping together?

The answer to all these questions came down to one thing, Severus. She was in love with Severus Snape!

The enormity of her situation hit her hard, how would she cope seeing him every day knowing how she felt? Would she ever tell him, knowing he would never even consider her as a partner? How was she going deal with her relationship with Ron? If she stayed with him he would eventually be hurt and if she broke it off he would be hurt too.

Confused she had done the only thing she could think of and that was to run, as far and as fast as she could. After gathering her belongings from her room she had left Hogwarts. Hermione had not meant to stay away long she just needed space to try to sort out how she was going to deal with everything. Unfortunately the days turned into a week, the weeks turned into a month and soon it had gotten too hard to go back.

Stories about her disappearance had dominated the front covers of the Daily Prophet to begin with. As time went by she watched as they gradually moved down the page until she was rarely mentioned at all now. A few days earlier she had seen a headline saying Granger Found. Reading the article apparently she had gone to live among the house elves to try to persuade them they need not carry on in servitude. Admittedly it had been in The Quibbler and at first she was amused by it but then she thought of what the people she had left behind must be thinking.

Realising that she at least owed it to Ron to return home and finish their relationship properly. He deserved that from her and she hoped that it would give him the opportunity to move on. As for Severus she had decided that nothing would ever come from her feelings for him and the best thing she could do was to move away. That way she could stay in touch with the others without having to endure seeing him every day.

Hermione picked her bag up from the bed and without another glance she apparated back to face the music.


	2. Chapter 2

**All things Harry Potter belong to J.K. Rowling  
**

A DESPERATE NEED PT 2

Hermione appeared in the centre of her bedroom at Grimmald Place, she glanced around. Everything looked just how she had left it months ago. Stepping into the alcove she placed her bag on the bed.

Barely having time to open it as she heard the sound of someone apparating behind her. She turned to see Ron stood in the middle of the room looking part shocked and part angry.

"Where the bloody hell have you been?" he shouted.

"Wha…? How did you know I was back?" she asked.

"I set the room to let me know when anyone entered it." He replied "No one has been allowed in here since you left, so when the alarm went off I knew it had to be you."

Hermione jumped at the sound of her bedroom door being opened and banged against the wall. She could not see who was there from where she was stood but an uneasy feeling settled in the pit of her stomach.

"Weasley what on earth is going on?" The deep, unmistakable voice confirmed Hermione's fear that Severus was stood a few feet from her. Her stomach churned at the thought of seeing him but at the same time her heart ached with the desperate need to see him.

"It's none of your business, Snape" Ron retorted as he crossed his arms defensively. "We need to be alone, so we would appreciate if you would just bugger off!"

"We?" Severus questioned.

Hermione took a deep breath and stepped out of the alcove.

"Hello Severus." He was stood in the doorway, one hand on the door handle, the other raised slightly was holding his wand. Wearing a white shirt unbuttoned at the neck, his sleeves casually rolled to his elbows. His fitted black trousers tucked into a pair of three quarter black boots.

Once again Hermione found herself struggling to breathe, as she watched Severus face. For a brief second emotion flickered across his face before being masked behind the familiar façade he usually wore. Had it been pleasure at seeing her or maybe relief at her safe return but the fact that it had been there at all made her heart melt. So much for being able to control her feelings, she thought to herself.

"It is good to see you, Hermione." He said. "We have all been concerned about you."

"I'm so sorry to have worried you all." she apologised.

"We looked for you but you were nowhere to be found. You are very good at concealing your whereabouts." Severus said.

"I have had a lot of practice, remember." Hermione gave him a small smile. "I just had to get away for a while."

"Why? What was so bad that you could not come to anyone of us for help? He asked.

"While this is all very nice, watching you two catch up." Ron interjected angrily "I think you will find I told you to bugger off, Snape!"

Severus stepped forward anger etched on his face, his wand raised toward Ron.

Hermione walked in front of Severus and she gently placed her hand on his arm. His eyes found hers and the intensity of his gaze reached down through her body and pulled at her core. She could smell the familiar aroma from his clothes. Realising that it was the smell from the potions storeroom that lingered on his clothes. She knew why that small room at Hogwarts was her favourite place there.

"Please, Severus." She said gently. "Maybe you should go."

"If you are sure?" His voice tight with suppressed anger. He looked towards Ron as he still spoke to her "Should you need me I am just across the hall."

He lowered his wand and with one last glance at Hermione he turned and walked from the room.

Hermione watched as he walked across the hall, she slowly closed the door and turned back to face Ron.

"Well?" Ron was the first to speak "Do I get an explanation, then?"

"Oh god, Ron. I was so confused, I was trying not to hurt you but I can see now that no matter what I did you would be hurt." she said.

"For God's sake Hermione, just tell me what is wrong." He shouted at her. Hermione flinched at his anger in his voice. She knew that he had every right to be angry with her and she knew she needed to stay calm.

"Please, Ron." She spoke softly to him. "I came back to put things right, please let me try to explain things."

He stood silently, staring at her and waited for her to speak. Hermione was not sure if it was worse than the shouting. She knew that there was no easy way to tell Ron of her feelings and to try to sugar coat it would only make things worse.

"I left because I realised that I had fallen in love with other man." She said simply.

"You've been cheating on me?" he said "After everything we have been through."

"No! It's not like that." Hermione struggled to find the right words. "He has no idea how I feel and probably never will. We are friends and that is all but I can't be with you when I love someone else. It's not fair."

"But I love you." Ron said simply.

"And I love you Ron I always will" Hermione replied. "But we are not in love."

"Isn't that the same thing?"

"No, I know now it is not." She tried to think how she could make him understand. "Have you ever wondered why in all the years we have been together we have never gotten past kissing? Why we have never slept together?"

"I thought we were just waiting until we were married." He replied.

"Oh come on Ron. You don't really believe that!" She gave him a wry smile. "I know Ginny told you about me and Viktor and you and Lavender were the talk of the school. Face it we were never right together, everyone wanted us to be together and we just fell into it."

"No, we love each other." Ron stepped towards her.

"Be honest with me Ron. While I was away, were there any other women?" Hermione watched as his face reddened, he ran his fingers through his hair. She could see that he was very uncomfortable.

"I'll take that reaction as a yes, shall I? Don't you see Ron that's not right." She tried to explain. "The way I feel about the other man is not right. We are not right as a couple, we tried but I think we are better as friends."

"Friends?" Ron said bitterly. Hermione watched as his shoulders dropped. She could see the hurt in his eyes and her heart ached at the fact she had done that to him.

"I have hurt you so much and you are angry right now but with time I hope you can forgive me and we can be friends again." She reached out to take his hands in hers but he pulled away from her.

"I know that this is going to take a bit of getting used to but I know what's right for you." She said looking him straight into his eyes "You have to let me go."

He walked toward the bedroom door, his hand hovered over the handle and he looked around at her.

"Will you answer me one thing, Hermione?" he asked.

"Of course, if I can." She replied. "I owe you that."

"This other man. It is not Harry is it?"

"No, Ron." Hermione could not believe that even after all this time the old rivalry Ron felt toward Harry was still so close to the surface. "It's not Harry."

She saw the relief on his face and without another word he turned, opened the door and left the room.

Through the open door Hermione could see Severus sat in his room. The door to his bedroom was open and he had turned a chair to face toward her room.

He was sat in the chair, his long legs stretched out in front of him. In one hand he held a crystal glass, lazily swirling the golden liquid inside it around. He raised the glass to his mouth and emptied the contents in one gulp. Slowly standing he rose from the chair and placed the empty glass on the table beside him.

Hermione watched as he made his way across the landing toward her room.


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry for the delay in publishing this chapter, real life got in the way.**

**As usual only the story is mine all things Harry Potter belong to J. K. Rowling.**

A DESPERATE NEED PT 3

Severus walked across the landing, his eyes never left hers as he stopped in the doorway to her room.

"I take it from the look on Weasley's face as he left, things did not go well here." his voice was heavy with concern. "Are you alright?"

To her horror Hermione felt the familiar sting as her eyes filled with tears at the question. Hurriedly she turned her back and quickly wiped her eyes, desperately trying not to break down. Behind her she heard the bedroom door close and Severus approached her. He gently placed his hands on her shoulders, she felt the heat reaching through the thin material of her top.

"What is it, Hermione? What could be so bad that you had to leave?" he said. "What did the idiot do to you?"

"You don't understand, it is what I have done to him. I have hurt him so badly, I have fallen in love with someone else and I came back to tell him it is over between us. I'm not the person he should be with." She tried to keep her voice level as she struggled to keep it together. "He actually took it much better than I expected him to. I think he in some way he knew that we were not right for each other. He is free now to find someone that will love him."

"And what about you? This man you love, are you going to be with him?" he replied.

"Oh no!" she gave a half laugh "The person I want to be with doesn't even know how I feel and probably never will."

How she wished she could muster up the courage to turn and tell him how she felt. She would hate for him to laugh at her or worse pity her for being foolish in thinking he could ever be with her. The thing that scared her most was that she may lose the friendship they had. At least if she kept quiet she could still be a part of his life.

"Tell him, Hermione. You have to take the chance. I have been in your position and both times I did not have the nerve to admit how I felt." She felt his fingers as they tightened on her shoulders. "Look at you, you are an intelligent and beautiful woman. Anyone would be an idiot to let you go."

Confusion swept through her mind, did he say both times he had been in her position? She knew about Lily, everyone knew about Lily. She knew how much he detested the fact that his love for Lily was public fodder, to be gossiped and used as ridicule against him.

She wracked her brain, trying to think of who the other woman could possibly be. Had she ever seen him with anyone? When they were at Hogwarts he rarely left the confines of the school. The same could be said of when he was at Grimmauld Place, he was always around when she needed to talk to him. He never brushed her off and seemed to enjoy it when they would spend time together.

Could it be that Severus had feelings for her? She knew she was probably grasping at straws but if there was even a slim chance that he did she must take that leap of faith.

"Both times?" Hermione asked turning to face him. His hands dropped from her shoulders and he took a step back."You said both times, Severus. Lily was one but what about the other." She watched as he flinched at the sound of Lily's name.

"Yes, once with Lily. The other is of no consequence, just put that down to the foolish dreams of an old man." He said dismissively.

"I don't think you are old at all, for a wizard you are just coming into your prime." She said "You should have someone in your life who you care about and who will care for you too. Someone who will share you highs and your lows and will love you without question."

"Well, I do not seem to have the same appeal as the ginger haired, side kick from the golden trio. Women are not exactly beating a path to my door." He raised an eyebrow as he spoke. "And even if they were I couldn't care less but just in case you find any let me know."

"Oh Severus, don't you see that is what I am doing." Her heart felt as though it was going to burst from her chest, it was beating so fast. "You said I should take the chance and tell the man I love how I feel. Well, here I am! Taking that chance."

As she watched his face as the mask she had always known him wear melted away and she could finally see the real man underneath. His dark eyes sparked into life as he looked into hers.

"I also said that any man would be an idiot to turn you down." He lifted his hand to cup her face, his thumb gently stroked her cheek. "I am many things Hermione but I am not an idiot."

"You have feelings for me?" Hermione asked "Why didn't you say something."

"What good would telling you have done? You were happy with Weasley or so I thought." He said. "It was pathetic really, I would hang around the corridors hoping to catch you on your rounds. I have lost count how many hours I have sat in that draughty library downstairs waiting for you to walk in. I was no better than a lovesick schoolboy."

"Lovesick?" she could scarcely believe what he was telling her. "You love me?"

"Yes, lovesick." He raised an eyebrow at her in exasperation. "Do I have to spell it out for you girl, of course I love you."

"All the time I was away, all the scenarios I went through in my head." Hermione smiled at him. "I never once imagined you saying that to me."

Dropping his hand from her face, Severus took a small step toward her. Standing centimetres from each other, their bodies not touching. She had never seen him look this way before, his eyes had come alive. The way he held her gaze reached down through her body and pulled at her very core.

"So what did you imagine, Hermione?" His voice deep and rich brought a blush to her cheeks.

Should she tell him of all the ways she had imagined them together? Of all the nights she had laid in her bed, imagining what he would do to her. Of how she had brought herself to climax night after night with only the thought of him on her mind, with only his name on her lips.

"I imagined what it would be like to be held in your arms," She placed her hands on his chest, the heat from his body radiating through the thin material of his shirt. "To lay my head against your chest and listen to your heart beating."

He lowered his head, his lips virtually touching hers. His eyes seemed to burn with desire and she felt his breath on her lips as he spoke to her his voice low and seductive.

"What else?" He said. "Tell me."

"I imagined what it would be like to have you want me, need me in the same way that I need you." Emboldened by his declaration of love, she slowly slid her hands up and around his neck. "I imagined what it would be like to have you take me completely, to make me your own."

Severus let out a growl, his arms encircling her pulling her tight towards his body. His mouth finally claimed hers and she surrendered to the passion that coursed through her. Their tongues danced round each other's mouths, desperate for more. She knew there would be other times to take things slowly but now all she wanted was to be totally possessed by him.

He straightened up, lifting her feet from the floor. Stepping backwards toward the bed, she raised her legs as he sat down. She could feel his arousal straining against his trousers through the fabric of her jeans, her knees sank into the soft mattress as she ground herself against him.

Breaking the kiss she pulled back from him, her hands reached for the hem of her top and she removed it in one fluid movement, discarding it on the floor. Her gaze never left his as he began to unfasten the buttons of his shirt, he pulled it free from his trousers and it joined hers on the floor.

Hermione slid her bra straps from her shoulders and then reached around and unclasped her bra. His hand came up and cupped her full breasts, his thumbs grazing over her already stiff nipples causing her to gasp with pleasure.

He lowered his head, she gasped as he pulled first one nipple into his mouth, then the other. Her hands reached for his shoulders, her fingers digging in as she clung on. She let out a ragged groan as she pushed her breast against his mouth, wanting more.

"Are you sure you want this, Hermione?" His hands went to her hips, as he pulled away from her. "This will change everything, there is no going back for me."

"I have never been more certain of anything in my life." Hermione replied.

His hands tightened on her hips and she found herself being expertly flipped onto the bed. She sank into the soft mattress as Severus began to place fevered kisses along her neck. With one arm supporting his weight the other began to travel down her body, taking in each contour as it slowly headed for its destination.

Hermione could barely breathe as she felt the first tugs of his fingers on the buttons of her jeans. For a second it crossed her mind that it had been so long since she had been with anyone. The rushed, fumbling encounters with Victor could have hardly prepared her for what an experienced man like Severus would expect. Any doubts were swiftly swept from her mind as she heard Severus quietly muttering a spell and their remaining clothing vanished.

She could feel his erection pressing against her thigh as his fingers gently probed between her wet folds. There would be time to take things slowly, to get to know what pleased each other but right now she just needed to be possessed by him completely. She reached for his head, her fingers entwined in his hair as she pulled his face to hers.

"Fuck me, Severus." He gasped and a brief look of shock passed over his face. She had no idea if it was from her coarse language or the wanton desire that was in her voice but she did not care all she knew was that she wanted to be his completely.

His mouth captured hers, eagerly she parted her lips allowing his tongue to explore every crevice of her mouth. Swept away by the passion in his kiss she arched her back toward him, needing more. She moaned as she felt the head of his erection pressing against her entrance. She pushed her hips against him urgently, wanting him to be inside her.

Bracing his arms beside her head, he sank into her with a groan, filling her until he could go no further. She gasped as he began thrusting, his movements fast and hard. She wrapped her legs around him, pulling against him with each thrust. Dragging her nails down his back he threw back his head and let out a guttural growl.

She closed her eyes and allowed the sensations that were building through her body to take over. A burning sensation began to build in her, wave after wave of pleasure ran through her body. Each one gaining in strength as she neared her climax. Her walls clenched around his length, her legs tightened around him as she lifted her hips, trying to pull him deeper.

Severus groaned as he increased his speed, pounding into her as she climbed higher and higher. Pulses of delight rushed through her body, she began to shudder on the edge of orgasm. She felt his thrusting becoming erratic and she knew he too was close to release.

He shuddered as he released his seed into her and breathed her name into her ear. The raw emotion in the single word he uttered drove her over the edge as she broke apart beneath him.

Their bodies' slick with a sheen of perspiration still joined together, Hermione could feel Severus's breath on her ear as they both fought gain control. Slowly tracing lazy circles on his back with the tips of her fingers, she relished the feeling of completeness she now felt.

She opened her eyes and let out a gasp. Their bodies were surrounded by a golden fog, tiny pinpoints of bright lights swam amongst the rolling clouds.

"Severus!" Her voice contained a slight panic. "Look."

"That's impossible." He said as he raised his head, a look of confusion crossed his features. "It can't be!"

"What is it?" she asked.

"I think it is Glonwir's Mist!" he said incredulously "But that's impossible."

"What's that? Are we in any danger?" She raised up her hand fascinated as the lights played around her fingers as she moved them.

"I thought it was a myth, an old witch's tale that had been passed down through generations. Many years ago a poor village boy befriended the local squire's daughter, they grew up together playing in the fields and woods. As they grew older the friendship turned love, they knew that their relationship would be frowned upon and so kept it secret. As with most secrets eventually the truth came out. The Squire horrified at the thought of his only daughter marrying beneath her, spirited her away one night. The boy was devastated, spending months searching for her but to no avail. Until one night he received a message from the girl's father urging him to come quickly. Pining for her lost love the girl was now gravely ill and the father hoped seeing the boy was her only hope. He apparated immediately, servants showed him to the girls room but on entering he knew that he was too late. He went to the bed and gathered her up in his arms, pleading her not to leave him. He swore he would do anything if they could be together again. The only sound in the room was of the two men sobbing." Severus explained. "After a few moments the father realized that the boy had stopped crying and he approached the bed only to find the boy too had passed away, they say from a broken heart. As he stood beside them he saw their magic leave their bodies, a swirling mist combining and raising upwards."

"Oh, that's so sad." Hermione said. "But why is it here?"

"It is said that when two magic beings are so completely compatible, the first time they consummate their union their magic leaves them and mixes together before being reabsorbed." A small smile played around his mouth. "Thus joining the couple together for eternity. So it seems my love, you are stuck with me."

"I would not want it any other way." As the last of their magic disappeared back into them, Hermione cupped her hand to Severus cheek. "I love you, Severus."

"I was wondering when you were going to get around to telling me that." His dark eyes seemed to dance with joy as he lowered his head and kissed her.


End file.
